What your netflix “recently watched” says about you.

 

Breaking Bad.

OHHHHHH aren’t you cool. You watch shows about meth and feel like you could totally cook some up better than most dealers out there. You literally cannot stop watching this show and you just caaaaan’t understand how people go on with life without it. You’re probably single because there is NO time for your addiction to meth (shows) and a relationship. Also, you have a drug problem coming in 2-4 years, so jokes on you, sucker!

 

The Hills/Gossip Girl/One Tree Hill.

Your 17-year-old soul just became intrigued by alcohol and relationships and hopes these shows will answer all your hard questions. Why were you not old enough to watch The Hills when it was actually on tv? And why do you not live in California? Why do your parents hate you?? Your boyfriend doesn’t buy you flowers enough and you’re pissed. You will retaliate vicariously through Peyton and LC as you hold out for Chad Michael Murray to stop brooding.

 

Family Guy/South Park/The Simpsons.

You microwave Eazy-mac and drink Mt. Dew. You yell “ROOOLLLTIDE” at most parties you attend but you have no idea where that started or what it means. You wonder what people mean when they say “complex carbs.”

 

Lifetime movies.

You have killed/will someday kill at least one man with a kitchen spatula, sharpened eyeliner, and a laugh that just won’t stop. You’re most likely self-annihilating an entire bottle of red wine as you watch these movies. You try to journal thoughts afterwards but all you see the next morning is babble about cake and your brother’s friend mixed with your dried tears and wine spills.

 

Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift documentaries.

Your “dessert” pinterest board is seriously out of control. You need to get on over yourself.

 

The Office and Scrubs.

The sad thing is: you probably have a decent sense of humor, or at least show potential. But I HAVE to judge you and assume you are a youth group kid who feels slightly rebellious whenever the word “gay” is thrown around or J.D. talks about sex. You watch these shows on Netflix, because when your mom walks in the room you can quickly pull up your word doc about dolphin’s digestive tracts.

 

 

 

 

Note:: As for me, I want Workaholics and Mean Girls and knock-off horror films. So, yeah, I clearly have the right to judge everyone else.

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