What to expect from a Parks & Rec Commission in Ames, Iowa.

-You will be the only person there. And you won’t be happy about it.

-They will continue talking about waiting for approval from a “J.C.” That means Jesus Christ, right?

-You will find out they often work with “Trees Forever.” After assuming that’s a joke, you will discover that it’s not. It truly exists. And it is one of the gayest things you’ve ever heard.

-Linda will head the meeting. She says things like “Best Wishes” and “Yet to Come” a lot. I think she is a cat. And she was Effie Trinket in a past life.

-There will be a man named Chip or something. He likes Bud Light and Comedy Central. He will be the devil’s advocate (or just the devil according to Linda). “Wait, what if…?” “I think you forgot about…” “Did you remember to fix that one thing…”

-You will stay 20 minutes and figure out Tom Haverford is not coming. You will leave.


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